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Ask, as the saying goes, and you shall receive. A reader requested that we solicit stories from women who have gotten down on the proverbial bended knee to ask for their partner’s hand in marriage. And while there were a lot of stories about accidentally proposing (“Do you think we should get married?” “Sure.”) and proposing in a fit of pique (“WHEN THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO MARRY ME, HUH?”), what we were really looking for here were the planned out proposals.
There were lots of them! They ran the gamut from simple to quite elaborate, and a goodly number of you presented your partner with a ring or ring substitute like a watch or pocket knife. (I’ve taken to calling those ring substitutes The Engagement Thing. Too much?)
Because I’ve never met a pun I didn’t love, I’m kicking things off with this story fromLordessOfTheWings:
I proposed and it was the most badass thing I’ve ever done!
A few years into my relationship with my then-boyfriend, I started to think I wanted him to be my husband. We were talking about the future and it felt to me that we were in this life thing together for forever. But this man moves at a glacial pace in most things so I realized that if I was going to wait for him to do it, I might be waiting a long time. And honestly I started to resent that I “had” to wait to do something that I just really wanted to do. Just not my style. I went ahead and bought my “engagement gesture” which was a top of the line Leatherman multi-tool (he’s a handy type). I took the Leatherman to a jewelry shop and had them adhere a small wing charm to the handle, making it his Engagement WING (cause if you like it, then you better but a WING on it woot woot). To me, the multi tool represented all of the various roles he plays in my life and the wing represented how protected and safe he makes me feel. After I had it made, I hid it in my underwear drawer, still scared or unsure whether I should do it. My major concern was that I would deprive him of something HE would hopefully want to do one day...
Then, early last year I had a seizure and ended up in the hospital. This lead to brain surgery, which, nothing like an imposing life threatening ordeal to put things in perspective. Life is just too damn short, you know? After I was home from the hospital post-seizure with my surgery scheduled, we woke up on his birthday on February 23rd. I got up and brought him coffee in bed (because I’m not allowed to hold him to ANYTHING he does/says pre-coffee) and asked him simply and nervously if he would be my husband and do this hanging out thing forever, while presenting him with his engagement wing.
Thankfully he said YES and we got married six months later. Funny enough, a month after I proposed, he presented me with a ring (family ring) that he and my mom had been working on for months. I asked him if he felt deprived or disappointed at all and he said he wouldn’t have it any other way.